


A Choice...

by SherlyQuinn221Bees



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But in the mind palace, But its better this way, Choices, Fluff and Angst, Forgive Me, Hes not really in this fic, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, James Sholto is dead., John is a Saint, John is patient, Lestrade actually notices something, Loving!Sherlock, M/M, Mary is Not Nice, Moriarty Is A Dick, Multi, Mycroft Being Mycroft, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parental Mrs. Hudson, Past James Sholto/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is Bad at Feelings, Slow Build, Which is bad for him, sorry - Freeform, youll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8498302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlyQuinn221Bees/pseuds/SherlyQuinn221Bees
Summary: Sherlock and John had too much to drink at John's stag do. Impossible promises were made,hearts broken and emotions unfound come to life. Now John must make a choice...Love or Stability?This is a sort of alternate version of TSoT and the stag do shots. They don't actually get arrested... And Tessa doesn't come along and mark herself as a moment ruiner. Enjoy!!





	1. Sleeping Unsexualy...

John wakes up at 9:00 o'clock, watch beeping insistently into his ears. He's warm,a lot warmer than he should be with just the one blanket. Its not an uncomfortable heat,just unexpected. He feels oddly fuzzy,but he supposed that was just the copious amounts of alcohol he'd consumed the night before. He drank so much,he doesn't remember really anything from the night before. His head hurts and he's just a bit not good in general. He rolls over slowly,searching for the source of his extra warmth,only to find he's covered in someone. A curly haired someone,who isn't Mary or really a woman at all.  
Sherlock.  
"Sherlock." He says,voice thick,limbs heavy,trying to wake the taller man. Then, "Sherlock!"  
That does the trick. Sherlock opens his eyes slowly,vision blurry,but eyes still a lovely shade of blue-green. Like the ocean. He slowly rolls off John, but as they're in Sherlocks bed,there's not much room,so he goes tumbling off the side of the bed. John would've laughed had he not been so nauseas.  
Sherlock got up off the floor and stood facing John. John's voice was quiet.  
"Sherlock...what happened last night?"  
Sherlock doesn't say anything,and for once,John can tell Sherlock is just as clueless as he is.  
Its a warm feeling.  
John gets a good look at sherlocks face,slightly green and sweaty. He knows what's going to happen before it does.  
Sherlock suddenly runs into the side bathroom and John can hear him violently throwing up in the toilet.  
John feels sorry for him. He's the one who got him more drunk than he could handle.  
But why were they in the same bed?  
Sherlock comes stumbling out of the bathroom,all grace gone,and stands in front of John, who hasn't gotten out of bed yet.  
"John-- I'm sorry about--"  
John cuts him off,voice gentle.  
"Its okay,Sherlock. Let's just let it go. Let's not mention it." Sherlock nodded.  
And they didn't.


	2. Unsettling...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes and talks with Mary and they have a row of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o! I've got nothing to do today,really. So have another chapter! Thank you for reading! :D

John walked into his and Mary's shared flat,fully expecting her to be out with friends from her bridal party the night before.  
He should know better than to expect things.  
Mary looked up from the sofa and inquired,  
"Where have you been?" John wandered into the kitchen,seeking pain relief for his still pounding head.  
"I was at Sherlock's. Stag do,remember? I was too knackered to come home."  
Mary frowned.  
"You know that I wanted you home last night." Mary said,tone suggestive. John rubbed at his pounding forehead.  
"Yeah,I know. But I just couldn't. You know?" John asked. Mary sighed,exasperated.  
"This is just you choosing Sherlock over me again,isn't it? You know how I feel about him." John was exasperated,now.  
"Mary,you know how it is. I wouldn't be who I am now,with you,without everything that happened with Sherlock."  
"And how do you think that makes me feel? Knowing I've made no difference in your life whatsoever?" Mary practically shouted.  
"Look,we're mates,okay?! Couldn't you at least try to get along with him? For the wedding,at least?" John asked her,trying not to completely lose his patience. They'd had this conversation a number of times since John told Mary he'd picked Sherlock for his best man.  
"No,John. I'm sick of you always picking that obnoxious arsehole over me!"  
"Mary--"  
"No. I'll not stand for this anymore,John Watson. You need to choose. Me or Sherlock." She said,yelling properly. John shook his head.  
"It doesn't exactly work like that,Mary. You know I cant--" Mary cut him off.  
"Then I'm leaving. Until you can choose one of us." Mary said,getting up and grabbing her coat.  
"Mary--" John started.  
"No. I don't want to hear it. Goodbye,John." And she walked out the door without another word.  
John sighed and pulled out his mobile.  
:We need to talk.-JW:


	3. Tea And Rubbish Advice...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sherlock and john talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this fic will be from Sherlock's POV! Its just easier for me to write... Big thanks to everyone who's read this so far! I appreciate it!!! :D

Sherlock sat percariosly on the back of his chair,fingers steepled,thinking. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

:We need to talk-JW:

He sighed. Sherlock wasn't stupid. He was aware of all the likely conversations that could take place between John and Mary;also aware of how Mary felt about him. He supposed it had something to do with his arrogance. John was constantly pontificating upon it. He wouldn't have to act arrogant if people could just THINK.   
Therein lay the problem  
In one fluid motion,he jumped off his chair,dashing into the kitchen. Tea or coffee? Dependent on the situation. He went with tea. He grabbed the kettle,filled it and set it to boil. He opened the tea and coffee cupboard and five different brands of tea rained down upon his head.

"Do you have enough tea,dear?" Mrs. Hudson looked in on him from the hall,smiling in a motherly way. Sherlock didn't quite find the situation very amusing.  
"What's the occasion? You never make tea. You have John or I do it." She asked.   
Sherlock ignored her and stooped to pick up the boxes. 

"Speaking of John,how was your boys' stag?" She asked.

Sherlocks stomach clenched for unknown reasons. He assumed it was the alcohol.

"It was fine." He said shortly,forcing himself not to think about this morning. The kettle boiled and he pulled it off the burner,grabbing two cups in the process.

"Well,let me know if you need anything,dearie." Mrs. Hudson said,taking her leave. Sherlock sighed. It was going to be a long day.  
* * *   
Sherlock sits back in his chair when he hears John's familiar tread on the stairs,heavier on one leg as per usual. He stopped in the open doorway and knocks.

"Why?" Sherlock asked waving him in. He pauses at the door.

"...why,what?"

"Why did you knock. You're the only person in this whole city who doesn't have to knock. I even make Mycroft knock. He hates it." Sherlock said with a small smile. John smiled back,uncertainly. He walked in and sat across from Sherlock in his chair and took a cup from the table next to it. He proceeded to pur them both tea.

"I lived here for twelve months. Think I don't remember everyone bursting in here like they owned the place? Someone has to have manners." John said,sipping his freshly made tea. Sherlock shrugged. 

"So you wanted to talk?" Sherlock asked,getting straight to the point. John nodded,suddenly anxious.

"Erm, yeah...its about Mary. She want me to choose between you two." John said,shifting in his chair.   
Out of all the things Sherlock thought of a lot of possibilities. But this wasn't one of them. He took a steadying gulp of his tea.   
Of course,he wanted John to choose him over Mary because that was the logical thing to do. But he thought better of it,refusing to be that kind of person. He knew how John felt his and Marys' fighting. So instead,he went with,

"What are you going to do?" John shrugged. 

"What should I do? Who should I choose? Its not easy." John said quietly. Sherlock couldn't get it. The only close friend he had was John, there was no one to choose but him. He was at a loss.   
He decided to give john some rubbish advice his idiot brother had given him. It didn't work for him,but maybe it would work for someone who wasn't a sociopath.

"John. Honestly...just do what you feel will make you happier in the long run." Sherlock said. 

"D'you think? I'm not sure if I'd make the right choice.." John trailed off. Sherloick nodded. 

"Yes. I think whatever choice you make would be good for you. Go with your gut. Your hunches are usually correct."


	4. A Memory...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock remembers something. A bit not good something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o! I wanted to thank you for reading this and giving me constructive criticism! I really,really appreciate it! If you find any other error\what have you, let me know!! :D

_Sherlock looks into his test tube of alcohol, feeling a lot more intoxicated than he should. He'd had Molly make every possible flow chart to help him not end up like this. He'd even checked them himself, and they were all perfect. Meaning there was one last possibility..._

_"John. John." Sherlocv!m said,poking the shorter man next to him. John looked up at him._

_"Did'ju spike my drink?" He asked. John giggled._

_"Yeah. Mmmighta done. Yeah. You'll be fine." He said, waving off his friend. Sherlock joins him in giggling, alcohol clouding his senses and making him dizzy._

_"John. I dont--" He can't go on. The giggle has turned into a full on laugh. "We need to go back to Baker Street. I need--" He suddenly feels dizzy, weaving, he grabs ahold of Johns shoulder, steadying himself. John grabs his free hand, squeezes tightly._

_"Hey, Sherlock, you okay? You seem a bit..." Sherloick doesn't hear the rest. He's looking down at Johns hand holding his, afraid he's hallucinating. He blinks, just to test it. He's not. John is actually holding his hand. Nothing comes through clearly anymore. The last thing he feels is John pulling on his hand to lead him out of the pub, and hailing a cab with their joint hands._

_Back at Baker street, both men Clamber up the stairs, still chained together by their joint hands, giggling madly. John stops and looks back at Sherlock, honey brown eyes staring into ocean green. Sherlock can feel the perceptible currents of charged electricity that flow between them. He has about four seconds to wonder about out, before John leans over and presses his lips gently to Sherlock's in--_

Sherlock gasps, letting go of the memory, heart beating rapidly, pupils dialated. 

"Sherlock, you okay?" John asks, startled from his thought. Sherlock shook his head attempting to clear his thoughts better. Damn his retentive memory! 

"I'm fine." He said roughly, brushing John off. "I just need to take a walk." He said, jumping up and grabbing his Belestaff. So that's what had happened last night! He was such an idiot for not remembering sooner. He blamed the alcohol scathingly, and vowed to never drink again. He grabbed his scarf and put that on, as well. 

"I'm going for a walk." He said in a huff. He then stomped down the stairs and out into the cold London air.


	5. Running Away From Things Unsaid...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John says some things to Sherlock

Sherlock shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked down the street,sleet falling all around,sticking in his curls,his eyelashes. He just walked out on John! What he must be thinking right now.... The memories swirl around in his head,causing an outstanding amount of emotions to consume him...

_John pins Sherlock against the wall with his chest and hips,hands tangling in Sherlocks' soft curls,kissing him hard enough to leave bruises. Sherlock moans quietly into the smaller mans mouth,grabbing onto his arms and holding tight. He then realizes what he's doing and lets go,attempting to pull away. He's still got enough sense to know:this is wrong. He fails at his attempt and John uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into Sherlock's mouth,and they both meet tentatively, sliding against each other in a futile battle of will,swirling about in a mishmash of feeling. Sherlock makes one more attempt to break free and succeeds,back thumping against the wall,heart beating fast,breathing heavy._

_"John,you're getting married in a week. We can't--."_

_"Shut up." John growls,and continued his assault on Sherlocks mouth. Sherlock doesnt say anything,but instead,allows John to work it out. He even allows himself tho enjoy it a little bit,leaning into the kiss and grabbing Johns hips as John continues with his fingers in Sherlocks' hair. Finally,John let's go._

_"I don't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone I don't love," John said. "Please,Sherlock...if I were to leave it all behind...would you come with me?" John gently cups Sherlocks' face in his hand. And Sherlock can't help but think that that sounds like a brilliant idea,really._

_"Of course I will. Always." And he leans forward to capture Johns lips again._

Sherlock is aware of someone calling him out of his thoughts. John.

"Sherlock! Wait up!" He hears Johns footsteps,running to catch up. He stops,allowing him to catch him.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Sherlock scoffed.

"You assume there's something wrong because I had to take a walk? I'm fine." Sherlock said,shrugging him off roughly. John reached out and snagged his hand. 

"Sherlock,if there's something wrong,you need to tell me. Its not good to bottle it up." Sherlock yanked his hand away.

"I told you,I'm FINE! Please...let me be." He said vehemently. John scoffed. 

"This is you using your brother's advice again,innit? 'Caring is not a advantage' or something like that? I will tell you,that's rubbish advice. You have to let people in! You have to care!" John said,upset. Sherlock said nothing.

John laughed bitterly,kicking the gravel. 

"...You're so much like James sometimes... Its unnerving." John said. "He would run into battle so recklessly,but for the most noble of reasons. He did it so much...he died. Got blown apart by a mine. I loved him. But...the felling wasn't mutual...at least,I think it wasn't. ...What I had James was so short,so fleeting. I never got the chance to tell him how I felt. And then...when he died,I didn't know what to do with myself,you know? I no longer had anyone to live for. I went out purposely seeking death. I got shot. In the shoulder. But,that's as far as my suicide mission went. I wouldn't have made it back to London,had Murray not helped." John said. Sherlock could feel the tears running down his cheeks.

"So I was in London,broke in more ways then one,with my health steadily declining and my anxiety coming back more and more often."  John took a steadying breath. 

"And then I met you. And I...I was just so...afraid. I didn't know what I was getting into. But I did anyway. And you were so...honest. About everything,up until the day you left. You knew you weren't normal and you didn't mind showing me that,sharing it with me. And that's just...amazing. And...I love you for it. I love you so fucking much and I'm scared. God,am I scared. Please just...-" John took a deep breath. Sherlock was quietly sobbing by this time. John exhaled sharply.

"Right. I knew there was no point in saying anything to you. You just can't feel things like normal. Goodbye,Sherlock." John turned and started walking away. Sherlock couldn't allow him to walk away. Not without--

"John!" Sherlock called him back. He stopped,but didn't turn around. Sherlocks voice broke.

"I'm sorry."


	6. How...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock wonders at his newfound feelings for John. But,then again,they've always been there,havent they?

Everything John said grated on Sherlock. How could he not be bothered about it? It was positively nagging at him! So he was in his favourite thinking spot. In Molly's lab,minus one Molly Hooper. She had left as soon as she saw Sherlock's stormy demeanor. He was working on a problem. A dozen or more thoughts flitted about his head in a completely overwhelming amount of sensory input.

John loved him. 

_Loved him._

How was Sherlock supposed to say how he felt about about John?

How could he tell John he was the most important person in his life? How could he possibly explain the elation he was feeling that John had stayed with him this long,when many others left him? How could he possibly explain the pride he felt when John called his deductions 'brilliant' or 'amazing',when everyone else told him to piss off? How could he tell John that he,in turn,that he was amazed at Johns hidden talents? 

The way he could make friends with anyone and manage to be so modest about it. The fact that he was so,so upset about the hostility shown by Johns women,when he never deserved it? How could he tell John how completely overwhelmed and touched he was by Johns wanting to protect him,to hate the people who dislike and distrust him,because John thought so highly.

How? It was all too complex.

How could Sherlock tell John that practically everything about him shone? About the bees Sherlock gets in his stomach whenever he's in close proximity to him? 

He couldn't.

He'd practically died for John,lay down and took beatings,whippings,cuts,burns and bruises to keep this man alive. He'd pulled him out of a bonfire,even.  What he felt for John...

'Love' wasn't a strong enough word. If it came down to it,there was no word in any language to perfectly describe how Sherlock felt. He would just have to show him.

But how?

Molly came in then,looking down at where Sherlock sat on the floor,face in his hands.

"I brought you tea...black,two sugars?" She asked. Sherlock nodded minutely and gingerly took the tea from her. She slid down next to him as Sherlock practically hugged the cup to himself,suddenly cold. 

"Sherlock... I don't mean to pry...but is something the matter? You look sad when he's not around..." Molly trailed off. Sherlock shook his head. 

"Sherlock,if you have a problem,let it out. I'll listen." She said,putting an arm around him. He leaned into it slightly.

"I--" He swalloiwed. "I think I'm in love with John."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o! Sorry this chapter is short...I swear,it looked longer on Deviantart...  
> BUT! I promise you,this next chapter is where things pick up,so stuck with me,okay? It will be good...I hope. I'm a bit nervous about how the rest of this fic will be received...but. Who Nose!


End file.
